On Thursday it will be 24 weeks. Of being pregnant that is. I haven't written at all about being pregnant. You'd think it would be a topic rife with fodder for wit and reflection--and it is. I just can't seem to do it. At first it felt like I had to wait forever to even tell people about being pregnant. It seems early pregnancies are more tenuous than most of us know. Finally I have news to share and a cute bump and huge boobs and everything and it just seems like there's no way to talk about it. I'll either sound like I hate being pregnant--droning on about the aches and pains--or I'll go on about the magic and wonder of it all. Neither one is quite right.
I can say that my belly sort of feels like it should have always been there. I do kind of like it. It's not so big yet so my tune may change.
I can say that we can't agree on a name although I did think of a new one today which I will propose to Bill later and which he will probably hate and which you can't know because we are keeping names a secret.
I can say that I'm freaking out a little (a lot) about the house, my job, money, staying home or not staying home, baby furniture, cloth diapers, not sleeping, and health insurance.
I can say that I had two nights in a row of totally freaky baby dreams. The other night, before I went to sleep the baby was kicking me so hard that I could feel him through my skin, not just little bumps, but like he was trying to kick his way out. I could feel his body parts. It freaked me out. I dreamed that he was trying to nurse through my belly and I had to pry him off. I felt bad because I felt like he was hungry and I wanted to take care of him but he was stuck inside there with no one to look after him. Last night's dream was more about giving birth. The hospital was all crazy and I saw a few babies born but everyone already had a room except me and I had come unprepared. Then my baby was born and he was so fat and huge--the size of a large 6 or 7 year old. Then I had to keep putting him back inside me and giving birth again to feed and change him. Finally I was like "This is crazy, " and I realized that once babies are out, they stay out.
I am now reminded that I need to sign up for childbirth classes. Tally ho! Pregnancy forward! Until later.
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2 comments:
Dear Naomi~
You made my day! I love your abilty to share such a personal event in your life...and with such gentleness,style and wit!!! You had me almost to tears and then laughing like crazy. I will refer to your blogs...now that I know what a BLOG actually is!! (the true test will be to see if I can find my way back to this site). I am a late bloomer....better late than never I suppose!. Kate tried to keep me in the dark (for ages...no pun intended) but I'm coming out!!!
~K
This is amazing... thank you for sharing such intimate details<3
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